Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Dreaming of Walking, Act II

Monday night I dreamt I could walk again. Last time I dreamt of walking so vividly, I was still being assisted with every step, and the independence I have now was distant.

This time, it was part-way into the dream that someone noticed that I had left my stick behind, but I was walking anyway. The dream was a hodge-podge of Sherborne Boys' gym, and walking (interminably) to see my sister at Sherborne Girls' but the context doesn't matter: I was walking!

At some level, I remember how it feels to walk casually, although my daily experience is of the effort it takes to walk at all, and to analyze which muscles on the right side are not working right, or enough, or at all.

The dream had a cruel irony: on Sunday night, I was too physically tired to walk the 25 minutes it takes to get to a friend's house, and I definitely couldn't have made it back. It was a shame, because playing D&D instead of watching the Superbowl would have been extra-fun. The tiredness was because, on top of doing a lower body workout in the morning, I had labored through the snow to brunch and back.

Lest I give the wrong impression, it has not snowed very much yet in New York; but the little there was made walking treacherous for me, and nearly doubled how long it took me to get to brunch. It was also exhausting. So, no D&D for me on Sunday. Worse still, although I went swimming on Monday morning, I was still bone weary by Monday night, and only just able to function.

It was clear that I needed a day off, and that I need to rethink my schedule to rebalance the exercise that steadily makes me better with the activities that enrich my life. Like seeing friends, playing games, and eating brunch. So I took Tuesday off almost completely, and I'm switching my upper and lower body workouts, so that I'm more likely to be able to walk far enough when I most want to.

Unlike last time, there's no upbeat coda; I'm seeing steady progress, but no great leaps forward. It was a good dream, though.